On the Razor's Edge
by KyloRenMustGrow
Summary: Rey hates Kylo Ren on sight. Her hatred for him only grows when he kills the man he had no right to call father. She's determined to end his reign of terror and to avenge Han Solo, but to do so, she must become a Jedi. But what she discovers when she finds Luke Skywalker is a truth that turns her world upside down and inside out.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"You cannot train him like the others. He is different. Special," a familiar voice whispered.

"But how can I train him in something I don't understand?" Luke Skywalker said, his frustration evident in his constant pacing.

"I cannot guide you in this. As you well know, I was never able to achieve that balance," the Force ghost of Anakin Skywalker said.

Luke grimaced. The reminder of his father's fall to the Dark side was an unpleasant one. He was grateful that his father had, at the very end, come back to the Light, but being reminded of the destruction and pain he had caused still made Luke stiffen.

"I still think you are wrong," Luke said adamantly. He'd grown, gained more experience, learned so much in the decade since the Battle of Endor. He could train the boy. He just knew it.

"Obi Wan thought he could train me," Anakin reminded him gently. "If you do not acknowledge and accept the boy's darkness, you will him drive him to the Dark side, make no mistake. You _will_ lose him."

Luke looked out the window at the children who were currently sitting around in the grass, relaxing after their morning exercises. He looked at the boy in question, sitting apart from everyone else. Alone. Always alone.

He turned to his father's Force ghost. "I will not lose him," he stated adamantly. Though he loved his father, in all honesty, there was still a kernel of doubt. He was afraid to trust him, despite his guidance having proven more than useful over the past decade.

Suddenly, another Force ghost appeared beside Anakin. Incredibly short, with green skin and pointed years, the creature stared up at him with pride.

"Master Yoda," Luke breathed.

"Done well, have you. Proud, I am, of you young Skywalker," the creature said with what amounted to a smile.

Luke smiled. "Not so young, anymore, Master Yoda."

The creature waved a hand dismissively. "When 900 years old you reach, then you can claim not to be young."

Luke chuckled. Anakin merely watched on quietly. Sobering, Luke asked his old master, "What can I do, Master Yoda?"

Yoda sighed. "Blind, I was. Blind and afraid. Of the unknown, I was afraid. Drove your father to the Dark side, I did."

"No, that is not true Master Yoda," Luke exclaimed, though Anakin kept strangely quiet.

"True, it is. There was Darkness in Anakin. Ignore it, we did. Make him into something he couldn't be, we tried. The same mistakes, you should not make. Listen to Anakin. As he suggests, you should train the boy."

Luke's eyes widened. "But I don't know how," he said.

"There is one. Ulaire Solenn, her name is. The path of both the light and the dark, she walks. Go to her. Take the boy. Together, you must go. Help, she will."

"Where do I find this Ulaire Solenn?" Luke asked, looking somewhat skeptical.

"Korriban," Yoda replied.

Luke cocked his head. "I have not heard of this planet," he said.

"It is the home planet of the Sith," Anakin said, giving Yoda a strange look. "Master, do you think it is wise to send the boy to a planet so steeped in the Dark side?"

Yoda nodded with a grunt. "The boy's only hope, Ulaire Solenn is. Know what to do, she will."

Luke nodded. "Thank you, Master Yoda."

"Go. Now. Time, you do not have," Yoda said adamantly.

* * *

"This place feels strange, Uncle," a young boy with dark hair and big, brown eyes said.

Luke took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He felt as if he was being bombarded on all sides. The darkness beating at him, trying to worm its way into his consciousness. Trying to take over him. It took him a minute to gather himself.

"Korriban was once the home world of the Sith. Many very powerful Sith are buried here and the Dark side is strong here."

Ben looked up at his Uncle with wide eyes. "Why are we here?"

"To meet a friend," Luke said simply. _I hope._

He and Ben walked down the ramp of their ship and looked around. Luke felt as if he was back on Tatooine. The planet was a hot ball of sand. If it hadn't been for all the ruins of Sith temples he'd seen when they'd come in to land, he would have checked the navigation computer to make sure he hadn't accidentally ended up on Tatooine.

A hunched figure draped in a black cloak from head to foot waited on the edge of the landing pad, which was in surprisingly good condition, considering that no one had inhabited the planet for hundreds of years.

"Ulaire Solenn?" Luke asked.

"Who wants to know?" the clipped Imperial accent almost had Luke staggering back. But he had to have faith. Yoda had sent him here with Ben for a reason.

"Luke Skywalker," he replied, trying to get a look at the woman beneath the robes. He could see nothing. The deep cowl obscured her face completely. He had a momentary flashback to Palpatine. But when he reached out with the Force, he found something he'd never encountered before. Neither light, nor dark, but in-between. This must be Ulaire Solenn.

"And what do you want with Ulaire Solenn, Skywalker?"

He remembered a similar scene with Yoda back on Dagobah more than ten years ago. He had much more patience this time.

"I need her help," he replied.

"For the youngling?" she asked.

"Yes," Luke said, then hesitated.

The woman cocked her head. "And for you," she breathed. He could hear the smile in her voice. "An enlightened Jedi. How very… refreshing."

The woman uncurled and suddenly stood ramrod straight. She whipped down her cowl to reveal the features of a woman that was many years his junior. How could she possibly train Ben when she was so much younger than he was?

"Master Jedi, have you not yet learned that things aren't always as they seem?" she asked with a small smile. She turned to Ben and extended her hand. "I am Ulaire Solenn and I'm going to teach you to harness both the light and the dark side of the Force so that none may ever manipulate you."

Ben stared up at the woman in awe, but then what she said sank in. "Uncle?" he asked, his voice wavering.

"It's okay, Ben. This is for the best."

Ben squared his young shoulders and nodded. "I am ready," he said.

Ulaire Solenn smiled and held out her hand. "Then come. There is much work to be done."

* * *

 ** _Five years later_**

"He is too young," Luke snapped. "This is a fool idea. I will not allow it."

He glared at the woman who had trained Ben for the past five years. The woman who had given him his nephew back. Ben had changed so much. No longer was he conflicted. No longer did he hide in the shadows. Ulaire had helped him accept who he was and taught him how to walk the razor's edge between light and dark.

But that darkness still nipped at Ben's heels. His sister had warned him there was a dark presence circling Ben, but he had never sensed it. Ulaire had latched onto it the day she'd met Ben.

" _Someone has been playing in this boy's mind,"_ she'd said grimly. _"Old. Powerful. Dangerous. Insidious."_

Luke remembered feeling as if his world was crumbling. He'd never sensed it. Hadn't believed Leia. _"Can you help him?"_

Ulaire had nodded. _"Yes, I can sever the connection and shield Ben. But this is an old power. A patient one. And he wants Ben. No matter the cost."_

" _What are you saying?"_

Ulaire had looked up at him, a challenge in her eye. _"I suggest we use the connection. I will teach Ben to resist him. And I will make sure whoever is on the other side has no idea they have lost."_

" _To what end?"_ Luke asked skeptically, uncomfortable with allowing such a course of action.

" _Such power, as ancient as it is, will not be satisfied with one boy. What I sense is far beyond darkness. It is not filled with anger or rage or hate. It is cold. Calculating. And so old. So very, very old and hungry. It will become a threat. Better to be prepared and know our enemy beforehand, don't you think?"_

Luke still hadn't been pleased with the idea of putting his nephew in so much danger, but the argument that won him over was that if Ben wasn't taught how to protect himself, he would be vulnerable the moment he left Ulaire's side.

But this? This was far beyond that and he would not allow it.

"You underestimate him, Luke. Ben has come a long way. He's more powerful than both of us. And he can do this," Ulaire said softly.

"He's my nephew," Luke said with a sigh. "I'm not sending him into the lion's den. I refuse to lose him."

"You don't think I care about him?" Ulaire replied. "He is like a son to me and if I didn't think he was ready. If I didn't think he could do this, then I wouldn't have suggested it. But he can save so many lives. Without him, we will be blind."

"I don't care," Luke exclaimed. "I will not sacrifice Ben for the good of the galaxy. We will find another way. There must be another way."

"Uncle, I am ready. I can do this," Ben said. Luke looked him over and sighed. Ben had truly flourished under Ulaire's tutelage. He no longer stood hunched in on himself as if trying to protect himself from the world around him. He stood tall and straight. And there was a confidence in him that some might say could lead to the Dark side, yet when Luke looked at him through the Force now, his potential for darkness had been harnessed, molded, reshaped into a tool Ben could use rather than one that would use him.

Yes, he was ready. Ben was certainly a lot more prepared than Luke had been when he had been pulled into the battle against the Empire. But then again, no one had expected Luke to infiltrate the Empire as Palpatine's apprentice.

"I know you're ready," Luke whispered. "But I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll lose you."

Ben smiled affectionately. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Uncle."

Luke sighed and ruffled his nephew's hair. It was good to see him so free, so open, so affectionate. So untainted by the evil that could have easily taken root in his soul had it not been for Ulaire's teachings.

Ben sobered. "I want to do this Uncle. Ulaire and I have looked at this from every possible angle. This is the only way to find out what is really going on. And, hopefully, to destroy it from within."

Luke looked at Ben proudly. He wasn't looking at a boy but at a Jedi, regardless of the path he walked. "You have become far wiser than I," Luke said with a smile. "Very well. We shall proceed."

Ulaire nodded. "No one must know or we risk exposing Ben and getting him killed."

"I have to tell Leia," Luke said.

Ulaire shook her head. "You can't. She is Force sensitive but with no training, she'll be easy pickings for a power as ancient as the one we are dealing with. And Ben will be compromised. She cannot know."

"She will hate me," Ben said softly.

Ulaire cupped his cheek. "She will always love you, Ben. You are her son. And someday, she will understand why this had to be."

"I don't like that he will be alone," Luke said.

She smiled. "He won't be. At least, not always."

The Force ghost of Anakin Skywalker materialized beside her. "I will be watching over Ben."

"Grandfather," Ben said by way of greeting.

Luke cocked his head and nodded. "Thank you." Over the past five years, he and Anakin had become much closer, thanks mainly to Ulaire, who had shown Luke that the anger he had never really been able to let go of before was being aimed at the wrong person.

" _What happened to Anakin can be laid at the feet of the Jedi Council and Palpatine. If the Council had opened their hearts and minds instead of clinging to ridiculous traditions, none of this would have happened. And what more can he do to atone for his sins? He died to save you!"_ she'd snapped at him one evening when they were discussing the light and dark side of the Force and Luke's past. She'd ranted at him for another hour after that, until Luke was finally able to face the fact that he wasn't as much angry at his father as he was afraid that he'd be weak and end up making the same mistakes.

After that evening, he resolved to set aside his prejudices, and he and Anakin had grown much closer. And, truth be told, knowing his father would be watching over Ben calmed many of his fears. Anakin would not allow anything to happen to Ben.

Anakin nodded. He turned to Ben and smiled. "I'll be there for you, Ben. No matter what."

Ben nodded. He hesitated for a moment. "He wants me to turn any Padawans I can and destroy what's left, the Academy included."

Luke's eyes widened. "What?"

"It sounds like he's getting ready to make his move," Ulaire said.

"What do I do?" Ben asked.

" _We_ ," Ulaire said, stressing the pronoun, "give him what he wants, of course."

Luke nodded. "I will hide the Padawans and you will destroy the Academy." He reached over and grabbed Ben by the shoulder, pulling him into a powerful embrace. "I am so proud of you, Ben," he whispered. "Be safe. No matter what, you make sure you come back to us."

Ben pulled back with a cocky smile, though his eyes were glassy with tears. "I will, Uncle."


	2. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren stepped through the main entrance of the massive hexagonal chamber. The equipment hummed quietly as it maintained the stasis field surrounding the dark energy that powered the Starkiller Base. Without it, the planet and the base it housed would turn into a fiery super nova. But he wasn't there for the equipment. Or the dark energy for that matter. Though making sure the equipment was still intact, for once, when he left the room was quite high up on his list of priorities. No, he was here for one reason. He had one task. To find the intruders.

A squad of stormtroopers waited at the entrance and snapped to attention as soon as they saw him. He ignored them. He scanned the many levels within the structure, reaching out with the Force to find the intruders. He could feel their presence.

"They're here," he said. "Find them. I want them alive and unharmed."

The stormtroopers saluted. "Yes, Sir!" Kylo Ren's temper was legendary and no one would question his wishes. Not if they valued their lives. It was an image Kylo Ren had painstakingly cultivated and one that served him well.

The troopers jogged off towards the upper levels, precisely where he had sent them. Ren cocked his head and looked over the railing. He turned and headed towards the lower levels. With every step he took, a mantra had taken up residence in his head. _No, he can't be here. He wouldn't be here. No. Please. Let it be a mistake. He cannot be here!_

But the further he descended, the more his heart sank. Finding no one, his spirits lifted, but only for a moment. He made his way across the walkway that bisected the great hexagonal structure but he hadn't made it even halfway when a voice shouted out, sounding so loud and out of place over the hum of machinery.

"Ben!"

Kylo Ren, at that point, knew he had no choice. He turned and looked at his father through the slits in his mask.

"Han Solo," he said, "I've been waiting for this day for a long time." _I've missed you father._

"Take off that mask," Han demanded. "You don't need it. Not here. Not with me."

"What do you think you'll see if I take it off?" _Other than the pain of what I have to do etched on my face._

Suddenly, _understanding_ rolled off Han Solo in waves, almost staggering him. "The face of my son," he whispered.

He wished he could tell his father how much he loved him. How sorry he was for lying to his parents all this time. He wished he could help his father escape. But the fate of the galaxy was at stake. And they had an audience. Not only were the troopers watching intently from above, but he could feel Snoke's oily presence in his mind, watching, seeing, feeling.

But Ulaire had taught him well. " _You can show him only what you want him to see. You can make him believe that what he sees is real and that you are an open book. And he will never know the difference because he is so arrogant in his power_."

"Your son is gone," he said, his voice hard and unyielding. "He was weak and foolish, like his father. So, I destroyed him. But I can grant such an insignificant request." Though he could shield his true feelings and thoughts from Snoke, his words were another matter.

Kyle Ren removed the mask, allowing his father to look upon the face of the man he had become for the first time.

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe," Han said. "But it's not true. My son is still alive, and I'm looking at him right now."

 _If only you knew how right you were. But I have to play the game, or everyone dies._ Han's eyes widened slightly and he cocked his head.

Kylo Ren looked at him, masking his surprise. His father wasn't Force sensitive. Had he really heard him? "No!" he exclaimed, continuing the charade. "The Supreme Leader is wise. He knows me for who I am, and who I can become. He knows you for what you really are, Han Solo. Not a general, not a hero. Just a small-time thief and a smuggler."

"Can't say he's wrong there," Han said with a grin. "But that makes me just as good at playing games."

Kylo Ren looked down at his father, the anguish plain on his face. His father had heard him. He didn't know by what miracle, but he saw pride in his father's eyes rather than recrimination. "Snoke's using you for your power, manipulating your abilities. When he's gotten everything he wants of out you, he'll crush you. And you know I'm right. You know I have no reason to lie because it gains me nothing."

"It's too late," Kylo said. His father was asking him to leave. Telling him he'd been there long enough. But he couldn't leave. Not yet. _It's too soon. More is going on and Snoke isn't the real power. He is a puppet. And he isn't the only one._

"No, it's not. It's never too late for the truth. Come him with me, Ben," his father whispered. "Your mother misses you."

"I'm being torn apart. I want – I want to be free of this _pain_." His voice almost cracked. _I miss you both. Why did you come here, father? Why couldn't you stay away? Snoke is screaming inside my head to kill you and I can't. I can't do it. But if I don't, we're all doomed. Why couldn't you just stay away?_

Han stepped closer to him. "I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it." Kylo meant every word. "Will you help me?"

Han nodded. "Yes, anything." His father looked at him with sad eyes. "Anything for you, my son," he said.

Kylo choked down the tears that threatened to spill over his cheeks. He unclipped his lightsaber and stared down at it. Han reached for it, his father's hand covering his own. Han thumbed the switch and the saber crackled to life, the red plasma blade piercing his father through the chest.

 _Nooooo!_ Kylo Ren screamed in his mind, though his face remained impassive.

His father cupped his cheek. _I am proud of you, son. And I'm sorry I didn't believe in you. This was my choice. My choice to save my son. It is not your fault. You are the hero. Not me._

"Thank you," Kylo Ren whispered. As Han Solo fell from the walkway, Kylo barely repressed the urge to reach for him. One wrong gesture and all the sacrifices he'd made, his father's death, would all be for nothing. Yet, despite his father's words, he felt rage build in him unlike anything he had ever felt before. He was furious at himself, furious at Snoke and furious at whoever was pulling Snoke's strings. He fell to his knees and barely felt the shot of the bowcaster as it slammed into his side.

He looked up into the face of his father's long-time friend and partner. Chewbacca. He didn't blame the Wookie. After all, what he'd seen was Kylo killing Han Solo. Because that's what everyone was meant to believe. He couldn't go to Chewie and beg him to take him out of there. Couldn't tell him that he couldn't stand being alone anymore. Couldn't tell him he missed home. He couldn't do any of that, because trillions of lives depended on him successfully completing his mission.

Blaster fire sounded around him, startling him, so lost had he been in his thoughts. In his grief. The grief no one was allowed to see. Explosions rocked the chamber, the smell of charred metal stinging his airways. He looked around, his vision hazy. It was almost as if he was somewhere else, looking at all the destruction from a distance. Looking at his own kneeling form standing on walkway that was about to collapse. He looked up. Walkways collapsing, columns shuddering, bending, squealing and finally giving in. The chamber was collapsing. Soon, the dark energy would be released and the Starkiller Base would be no more.

Yet, even with all the destruction and chaos surrounding him, Ren could not will himself to move. He knelt, his head bowed. _Maybe this is for the best. So many lives lost. I could not stop them firing the weapon. I am a failure. My father… No, this is for the best._ It would all be over. The pain would stop. The agony. The loneliness. He was tired. He had gone too far. He had done things that could never be forgiven. It was time. Time for it to all be over.

" _Ben, get on your Force-damned feet and move! Now!"_ The two voices screamed in his head, startling him. He sighed and shook his head.

" _I can't."_

" _Yes, you damn well can! You are not all-powerful. You cannot control everything and everyone. Your actions have already saved countless lives. And yes, you are right. There is no forgiveness for you because none is necessary. Now, you will get on your damned feet and get out of there or I swear to the Force I'm going to haunt your Force-ghost and make your afterlife miserable for the rest of eternity!"_ Anakin shouted in his head.

" _But grandfather, I don't have the strength to go on,"_ he murmured in his head. He was so tired. So very tired of being hated.

" _If you die, I die,"_ Ulaire said suddenly.

" _What?"_ both he and Anakin exclaimed through their telepathic connection.

" _To keep your mind shielded from whoever is behind Snoke, I transferred part of my spirit into you. So, if you die, I die,"_ she said simply.

" _You did what?"_ Anakin exclaimed.

" _Can we argue over this later? Like after Ben is safe?"_ she snapped.

Ulaire had known what she was doing. Ben would never let her die. She was family. She had saved him. So, he struggled to his feet.

" _That's my boy. Now, get the hell out of there!"_ Anakin hollered at him, helping to clear his mind of the darkness clouding his mind. Blood loss. He touched his side gingerly. Definitely blood loss.

An angry scream rent the air and he looked up. The girl. The scavenger. With the stormtrooper. The traitor. And one of his greatest successes. He had proven the conditioning could be broken. The girl fired at him. He raised his lightsaber to deflect the bolts. _Get out of here, fool girl!_ She was strong in the Force. She could be trained. She could help them. But not if she died on this Force-forsaken rock.

Apparently, the trooper had the same idea as he dragged the girl away. Ren breathed a sigh of relief. Before he could take a step, another voice sounded in his mind.

" _Terminate the scavenger. She must not be allowed to live. She must not be allowed to become a threat."_ Damn Snoke. Damn him to the deepest pits of hell!

Ren thought quickly. _"But Master, she could be turned. To the Dark side. To serve us. To serve you."_

He could sense Snoke's hesitation. _"Master?"_

" _Bring the girl to me,"_ Snoke acquiesced.

Ren gritted his teeth and stepped forward. _Pain._ He shook it off and stalked out of the chamber, taking the same path the scavenger and the trooper had taken. After what seemed like hours, but had only been ten minutes at most, he stepped out into the frigid darkness. His boots scrunched in the snow with every step he took. The cold air helped to center him, momentarily pushing back the oblivion clawing at the edges of his mind, threatening to engulf him.

He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. He tried to reach out with the Force but it was like slogging through marshland. His concentration was shot. His focus was nowhere to be found. _"Ulaire, help me,"_ he whispered in his mind.

Suddenly, his focus was razor sharp and he could sense them, deep in the forest. They'd stopped. _"Thank you."_ He dragged himself in their direction, every step a study in torture. He didn't know how long it took him to get to the small clearing where they'd stopped to take a breath. He didn't even know how he'd gotten there, truth be told.

"Stop," he managed to get out, his voice sounding strong, even to his own ears.

They froze and turned to look at him. Ren reached for his lightsaber, more out of force of habit than anything else. The scavenger drew her blaster, took a step forward and aimed at him. _Really? Can't I get a break?_ He put a hand up to help him focus his power and froze the scavenger in her tracks. Of course, she had to fight him. If he hadn't been in so much pain, both physical and emotional, he might have cracked a grin. She had spirit.

Still she fought. So, he flung his arm to the side, her blaster flying out of her hands to smash against a tree. Catching a blaster bolt would be harder than just getting rid of the weapon. Because he knew if he left it in her hands, she'd eventually put another hole through him.

The oblivion was threatening to overwhelm him again. He was fighting just to stay upright. He needed to get her out of the way. The moment he let his guard down, she'd try to kill him and she'd likely end up dead in the snow. His survival instincts would push him into a reaction he wouldn't be able to take back later. So, he flung his arm out again, and this time the scavenger went flying.

" _Are_ _you_ trying _to kill the girl?"_ Anakin asked.

Ren growled. He could barely stand. The only reason he hadn't already passed out was because Ulaire was supplementing his power with some of her own. So, forgive him if his control was out of whack.

"Rey!" the trooper shouted, running towards the scavenger. He fell to his knees, picking up Rey's head and cradling it in his lap.

A growl of displeasure bubbled up from Ren's chest, though he didn't understand why. They were clearly friends. Maybe even more. The reaction was normal. Logical. So, why did it displease him so?

" _Kill the traitor and bring me the girl,"_ Snoke commanded him.

Ren gritted his teeth. He was too tired to work out how he was going to get out of this one. And he wondered if the trooper really was worth all this. He was supposed to save the galaxy and blowing his cover for a single life wasn't worth it. But he knew that if he allowed himself to become so cavalier with one life, it would be a small step to becoming just as cavalier with the lives of billions.

So, he fired up his lightsaber. The red plasma crackled and sputtered, bathing the forest in a soft, red glow. The former trooper froze, looking at Ren over his shoulder. He laid Rey down gently and got to his feet, turning to face Ren.

The trooper then drew a weapon, startling Ren. It was Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. The same lightsaber his uncle had gifted him with when he'd started his training with Ulaire. The one he hadn't been able to take with him. How had this boy gotten his hands on it?

"That weapon is mine," he said, realizing too late that he'd muttered the world aloud. He really hoped Snoke wasn't paying too much attention.

"Come and get it," the trooper snarled.

" _Make it look good,"_ Ulaire whispered in his mind. He barely tamped down the urge to roll his eyes. Since when did his grandfather and Ulaire take up residence in his mind? This was the most he'd heard from them in months.

" _Since you tried to commit suicide by Starkiller Base,"_ Anakin snapped.

Ren groaned and shook his head. Well, having their running commentary in his head was certainly better than being alone with Snoke up there. Time to play the game once more. He engulfed his saber's blade in a shield that would reduce its damage so that any blow he landed would not be lethal. He then squared his shoulders and threw the stormtrooper a nasty smile.

"I'm going to kill you for it," he said and rushed forward. His blade slammed hard against the trooper's in a flurry of sparks. What a surprise. Someone else who was determined to kill him. He lunged, tried to strike, but the stormtrooper parried his every strike.

He took a step back. His vision was growing hazy again. _"Ulaire, help him!"_ he heard his grandfather shout.

" _What do you want me to do? Drive him like a damned walker?"_ she snapped.

" _If that's what's necessary, then damn well do it!"_

Ren really did roll his eyes then and slammed himself hard in the side, the bite of agony clearing his head for a moment. He attacked again, but the trooper kept up a good defense and Ren was having a hard time staying on his feet.

Suddenly, he felt a massive influx of power. Ulaire. He didn't know what she had done, but whatever it was, he was back in full control. Time to end this before it got worse. He advanced relentlessly, slamming against the trooper's blade. He was backing up, slowly but surely. Then the trooper stabbed the lightsaber forward, grazing Ren's arm. He took no notice of the injury, continuing his attack. Finally, he struck a blow, cutting the trooper's chest. Ren took advantage of his opponent's momentary distraction and used the Force to wrench the lightsaber from his hands and throw it as far as he could in his current state. Which apparently wasn't all that far.

Even with Ulaire's injection of power, his body was faltering. The Force could only do so much with a failing body. Ren had to keep the trooper down. Make it look as if he'd killed him. Or at least tried his best. So, he turned to give himself some momentum and swung upwards, his lightsaber slicing up the trooper's back. The blow had done damage. Quite a bit of it. But nothing that wouldn't heal, eventually. And damage was better than death.

Ren switched his weapon off and swayed slightly on his feet. His grandfather's lightsaber. He had to get it. He couldn't let it be destroyed. It was still his. Even if he'd had to abandon it temporarily. He extended his hand, calling out to it with the Force. Unfortunately, he was pathetically weak. Suddenly, the weapon shot out of the snow and flew toward him. _Not as weak as I thought._ But he had to lean back quickly to avoid getting hit in the face. _What the–?_

He looked to his right. The girl stood there, staring at the weapon in her hand in amazement. Snoke's words came back to him.

" _There has been an awakening in the Force. Have you felt it?"_

When he'd delved into her mind to find the map, he'd suspected it could be her, especially when she'd turned his mind probe against him. Now he was certain.

"It _is_ you," he said softly. Apparently, his words unsettled the girl because she looked up at him and anger twisted her features into a determined scowl.

He almost sighed. _When is this day going to end?_ Part of him was elated that she was so powerful. Another Force user on their side was definitely a good thing. But that meant he'd only have to work harder to divert Snoke's attention from her. While he'd already told his so-called master of her power, he'd toned it down as much as he could. But if Snoke was ever in her presence, he'd realize Ren hadn't been perfectly truthful. So, he had to make sure she never fell into Snoke's hands.

He lifted a hand, determined to knock her out once more. Apparently, though, most of his power was being channeled into holding him upright. _"Ulaire!"_ he growled.

" _Do you_ want _to fall flat on your face and have your head chopped off?"_ she asked sweetly.

The scavenger activated the lightsaber she held, the blue beam humming to life. He thumbed the switch on his own lightsaber and the red mixed with the blue to form a purple glow in the space between them. The symbolism wasn't lost on him. Light and dark forming to create balance. Within him. But within her too?

And that's when she charged, almost catching him unprepared. Their sabers clashed against each other, illuminating the forest with that purple glow that had so fascinated him. She was angry. And fierce. She kept lunging and striking at him, while he parried her every move. He didn't go on the offensive. At least, not yet. He hoped she'd tire out before he did. And, in all honesty, he found her fascinating. She had some skill, probably due to her experience with a staff, but it was raw. The ferocity behind her attack, though, was enthralling. It called to both the light and the dark in him. She called to him in a way he couldn't understand.

He took control, pressing her back, curious to see how far he could push her. This was no longer about Snoke. About the Resistance. About the galaxy. It was about them. About him and about Rey. He rolled the name around in his head as he pressed forward. The first time he'd allowed himself to think of her by name. To let her in.

The ground beneath them groaned and a huge chunk of the forest behind the girl – Rey – collapsed. His heart stopped beating. _No!_ He threw whatever power he had left at her, holding her from falling over the edge into the chasm that had formed. Their eyes locked, just as their sabers were locked. He couldn't back away. If he did, he'd probably drop her. The steady and continued blood loss, the fighting, keeping Snoke from seeing too much inside him, his father's death and now the girl – Rey – had whittled his strength to a tiny nub of what it should be. He was amazed he was still upright, let alone able to hold her from falling.

He had to get through to her somehow. To stop this madness. Without Snoke figuring out what was happening. "I could kill you right now," he said to her. "But there is another way."

The look of disgust she gave him was like a punch to the gut. "You're a monster," she hurled the words at him. Their gazes locked. Hers full of righteous fury, his filled with pain. She hesitated for a moment. She tilted her head slightly and bit her lip. Her eyes flickered with… curiosity? _Confusion._ It rolled off her in waves. _No, no, no!_ He had to distract her. If she was confused, Snoke might wonder why. He might question what the girl had seen in Ren to make her hesitate.

"You need a teacher," he said quickly, his tone a little softer than he might have liked. "I can show you the ways of the Force!" His voice was stronger. More convincing. More certain. Snoke needed to believe he was trying his hardest to tempt her. But part of him wanted her to accept. With Ulaire's help he could guide her. Teach her. And he wouldn't be so alone anymore. He wouldn't have to fight as hard every day not to just give up and give in to Snoke.

She looked at him for a moment longer, then turned her head, gazing into the chasm behind her. She looked back at him and shook her head. "The Force?" she murmured. She closed her eyes and Ren wanted to scream. He didn't know how much longer he could hold her. He was stuck. He couldn't pull back. He wouldn't move forward. She had to do something.

Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she attacked in a flurry of movement, driving him back. The knot of apprehension in his gut loosened. He tried to focus on defending himself, but apparently the power he'd expended in keeping her from falling had really been the only thing keeping him standing. He went down. _Pain._

Another influx of power from Ulaire, but she could only do so much from a distance. He got to his feet with difficulty but he wasn't fast enough to dodge Rey's blow. His saber flew from his hand. Using what little power he had left, he fended off her blows until he had nothing left to give. Another blow. His face and chest burned. He went down once more, barely able to move. Ulaire was channeling everything she had into keeping his heart beating, trying her damndest to stop him bleeding out completely. She couldn't help. He was done.

He looked up at Rey and their gazes locked once more. She stood there, unmoving, her lightsaber raised. One blow and she could end it all. From her point of view, she'd be destroying a monster. She'd be saving countless lives. Yet, she hesitated, her brow furrowed. She reached out her hand towards him, then brought it back to trace along her own face.

The ground started to shake and split, separating them. She kept her gaze trained on him for a moment longer, then shook her head and turned, running to the fallen stormtrooper. To her friend.

Bright lights suddenly shone down on him, amplifying the headache that was threatening to split his skull open. He blinked slowly, trying to clear the blurriness of his vision. He fought back the oblivion threatening to consume him.

 _She must not die!_ The exclamation was wrenched from the deepest part of his soul. From the tiny part that was still his own. The only part he hadn't given up for the good of the galaxy. And still, he wasn't certain why it was so important to him that she survive. All he knew was that it was imperative.

Understanding flooded through him from another source. _"She will survive. I promise you,"_ Anakin whispered.

" _Relax, Ben. I'll keep you both safe,"_ Ulaire said. Ren nodded, finally allowing his body to start shutting down. His grandfather would find a way to save Rey and Ulaire would keep Snoke out of his mind while he was unconscious. Everything would be alright. For now. Gratefully, he finally succumbed to the darkness.


	3. Chapter 2

Rey huddled next to Finn, holding his head in her lap, certain that this would be the end for them. Though chaos reigned all around her, she was cocooned in a bubble of silence. Tears slipped down her cheeks but were dried by the vicious wind before they had a chance to fall. Life was so cruel. Just when she'd thought she'd found a family, it was all being ripped away from her.

And it was all because of _him_. She glared in the general vicinity of where Kylo Ren had fallen in the snow and berated herself for letting him live. She could have ended it with one strike. She had been so tempted. A dark part of her had demanded she end him, then and there. She should have done it, yet something stayed her hand.

The look in his eyes. When he'd offered to teach her; when he'd lain in the snow, staring up at her, waiting for the deathblow. There had been pain. Anguish. Regret. Almost as if he'd had no choice in his actions. It was a pain she understood. In her desperate bid for survival, she'd often done things that had put the same pain in her own eyes.

She shook her head and almost laughed at herself. She was trying to find excuses for her own failure to act. She was trying to humanize a monster. Wishful thinking. Hoping against hope that the son of Han Solo couldn't really be all gone. That the youngest of the Skywalker line, the nephew of a legend and the son of a great leader could not have completely lost his way. That there was still good in him. Plutt had always told her she had a tendency to dream too much, to be too optimistic.

She was yanked out of her musings by a glow that enveloped her. Had it not been so localized, she might have closed her eyes, accepting death. But the light was too bright. To centered on her for it to be coming from the planet. She held her hand up against the glare, trying to shield her eyes as best she could. And that's when she realized what she was seeing. It was the Millennium Falcon!

The ship landed relatively smoothly and Chewie came bounding down the ramp before it had fully opened. Had he not stooped over and picked Finn up as soon as he reached their side, Rey would have thrown herself into his arms. With Finn safely settled in the medbay, Rey ran to the cockpit and took the copilot's seat.

As the Wookie started the maneuvers to get them off the ground, she turned to him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. This was the second time in one day that someone had come back for her. The pitiful scavenger.

Chewie whined and growled. _"We are family,"_ he said, as if that explained everything.

Rey swallowed to knot of emotion that had formed in her throat. _Have to get out of here. Can break down later._ She gritted her teeth and focused. They broke through the atmosphere of the planet and moments later, they jumped to lightspeed, just as the energy wave caused by the implosion of the planet overtook their position. Had they dallied for a mere second longer, they would have been debris, just like the rest of the planet.

She leaned back against her seat with a sigh of relief. She looked at her hands in surprise. They were shaking. She took a deep, calming breath and glanced over at Chewie. The Wookie stared out into space. _Grief._ She felt it so acutely. But was it her own or was it Chewie's? She didn't know. She figured it was part her and part Chewie. She grieved for everything that might have been, while Chewie grieved for all that had been.

She rose slowly to her feet and placed a hand on Chewie's shoulder. The Wookie whined and growled, but he turned. She looked at him hesitantly and he seemed to understand. He held open his arms and she almost threw herself at him. He held her close and they rocked together, their pain intermingling until she was no longer certain where his began and hers ended.

Ever since Chewie had found them, a question had been burning in her mind. "How did you know where to find us?" she asked, her face buried in the Wookie's fur. She wasn't sure he had heard her. He pulled back for a moment and gave her a confused look.

" _I'm not sure. Somehow, I just knew. I took off and flew straight to your location without thinking. It was as if…,"_ he shook his head. _"No. It doesn't matter. I found you. You're here. You're safe. Nothing else matters."_

Rey nodded and burrowed deeper into the Wookie's fur. He hugged her close, petting her head and back with his huge hands. It would have probably looked funny to someone else, but for Rey, it was the most affection she'd received since she could remember. She was barely holding her tears back.

The ship suddenly began to slow and Rey pulled out of Chewie's arms. They had dropped out of lightspeed. They'd arrived at their destination. D'Qar.

As soon as the ship touched down, medical personnel swarmed on board to take Finn away for treatment. Rey had seen the crowd that had gathered near the landing pad when they were coming in to land and she was afraid to move. Afraid to face so many people. Chewie growled at her and held out his hand.

" _You faced down the First Order. You can handle a bunch of cheering Resistance members,"_ he'd said.

She grinned at him and took his hand, letting him lead her off the ship. As he'd predicted, the crowd cheered when they saw them. But it was bittersweet. Han Solo should have been there with them. Getting off the ship with his cocky swagger. She swallowed back her tears and gave them a watery smile.

And then she saw Leia Organa, the famed resistance general. The sister of Luke Skywalker, the legend. The woman who had fought against oppression and tyranny her entire life. But all Rey could see was the woman who had lost so much. Her husband. Her son. They faced each other, analyzing, understanding, for a single moment, and then Rey broke down and hugged the diminutive woman, who held her just as fiercely.

Their grief was shared. Tears ran down both their faces. Rey knew she couldn't fathom the depth of Leia's pain. She had lost her family. Her brother, who should have been there to hold her, to support her, had disappeared. Retreating from the world. Part of her was angry at Luke Skywalker. So very angry. He could have stopped this. He could have saved Han Solo. But he'd chosen to run away and sulk. She gritted her teeth and pulled back the rising tide of fury. It was not right. She didn't have the right to judge. _Not yet._

The rest of the day passed in a flurry of activity. Rey wouldn't leave the medical center until Dr. Kalonia confirmed that Finn would be alright.

"Your friend's going to be just fine."

"Thank you," Rey whispered. She didn't know what she would have done had Finn died. But he hadn't, and she wouldn't dwell on it.

"I don't treat many lightsaber wounds," the doctor said. "It's such an old weapon. People today prefer to fight with rifles and blasters, from long range. I suppose it doesn't matter. Death is death, no matter the mechanism that is employed to beget it."

Rey looked at the doctor and then a thought struck her. _Why isn't Finn dead?_ She had wielded a lightsaber herself. Knew precisely how dangerous and deadly the weapon was. She had faced Kylo Ren. Knew precisely how dangerous and deadly he was. Even injured, he'd been a force to be reckoned with. _So, why isn't Finn dead?_

She shook her head. She wouldn't dwell on it now. All that mattered was that he would live.

* * *

Late that night, after a very agitated afternoon when they'd finally discovered where Luke was hiding, thanks to Artoo 'waking up' after years of inactivity, Rey lay in her bunk, twisting and turning. She couldn't seem to fall asleep, no matter how hard she tried. And she was exhausted. But she just couldn't seem to find a comfortable position.

With an annoyed huff, she got up, dragged the bedding to the floor and lay down, pulling the blanket over herself until she was covered to her chin. Finally, she managed to settle down. The bed had been too soft.

She closed her eyes and thought back to the events of the past few days. Her whole life had been spent on Jakku, waiting for her parents to return. To be honest, if she had really wanted to, she could have left the planet at least a few times, like the time she'd rebuilt that Ghtroc freighter only to have it stolen out from under her.

Now more than ever she couldn't fault Devi and Strunk. Not after everything she'd seen. They'd said from the start that they wanted off Jakku but she'd refused to really listen to what they had been saying. She'd allowed them to help rebuild the freighter because she knew it would have taken her a lot longer on her own but she hadn't considered their needs as much as she had been thinking of her desire to finally complete the ship and trade it into Plutt for enough rations to keep her going for a few more years, so she could keep waiting.

The sad thing was that deep down, she'd known her parents weren't coming back. She didn't even know if the people who'd left her on Jakku had even been her parents. She remembered very little before Jakku. The only real memory she had wasn't even a memory – it was the vision she'd had on Takodana of herself as a child, begging someone to come back.

If Rey was completely honest with herself, she hadn't wanted to leave Jakku because she'd been afraid. It would have meant admitting that she really was alone and that no one was coming back for her. She'd been afraid of giving up hope, of having her fairytale shattered. The fairytale that someone out there loved her and would come back for her.

She snorted. Now that she thought back on it, it felt childish. And now that she'd discovered this ability, this connection to the Force, she knew she could not be childish any longer. Maz had already made her face her worst fears – that she'd known all along who she'd been waiting for was never coming back. No, they weren't coming back. They very well could have just been figments of her imagination. The imagination of a lonely child holding on to a bright spark of hope just to have a reason to survive another day. But she wasn't on Jakku anymore. And she had the chance to become so much more than a scavenger. She could make a difference. And she would. No matter what it took.

As she drifted off to sleep, she wondered whether Maz had been talking about Luke Skywalker when she'd said Rey could help someone come back. It had to be…

… _Rey opened her eyes and squinted against the scorching sun. She was back on Jakku. It had all been a dream. Han Solo, Kylo Ren, the Starkiller Base, the Force, it had all been a dream. She wanted to fall to her knees and scream in agony. But a voice in her head urged her to look closer._

 _Sand everywhere she looked. Cliffs too. On either side of her, rising at least twenty meters, reaching for the sky that was bathed in an orange glow. In front of her, she could see a pyramid-shaped structure, it's dark walls gleaming in the soft light. A walkway flanked by statues clothed in robes led up to the entrance. Red flags with a symbol she hadn't seen before hung on either side of the massive entrance into the pyramid._

" _Acolyte!" someone shouted. "Are you waiting for an invitation signed in blood? Get a move on."_

 _She looked around but no one else was there. She felt herself move forward. It felt like she was in control of her body, yet not. It was strange._

 _The view faded out and she suddenly found herself in an office, facing a man many years her senior._

" _I have never seen an acolyte as powerful as you. With the right training, you could become the greatest Sith the Empire has ever seen. But we must keep you hidden from those who would destroy you before you even started on your path to greatness."_

" _My lord, I shall endeavor to exceed your expectations," Rey heard herself say._

" _Oh, I know you will, acolyte. Because, if you do not, you will die…"_

Rey woke with a start and shook her head, trying to clear the haze of sleep. She looked around and saw the stark walls of the small room she'd been assigned. She breathed a sigh of relief.

It had been a dream. Nothing but a dream. But it had felt so real. As if she'd really been there. Why had she been dreaming of the Sith? And how could she have been dreaming of the Sith?

She didn't know much about them, except that Darth Vader was supposed to have been the last Sith lord before he turned back to the light. And she'd certainly never been on the planet in her dream. It might have resembled Jakku at first, but it wasn't. She knew that deep in her bones. So, how could she have dreamed of a planet she'd never seen before?

Maybe it hadn't been a dream. Could it have been another Force vision? But to what end? What was the Force trying to tell her? She felt like screaming in frustration. Why didn't Force visions come with a manual?

However, the question that burned most was: what had _she_ been doing there, on that planet? And why had it felt so right? So familiar?

* * *

The following day Rey grabbed something to eat – she still found it incredible that she could eat her fill – and rushed to the medical center to check up on Finn. In a few hours, she'd be leaving with Chewie and R2-D2 to find Luke Skywalker and hopefully bring him back to help the Resistance and destroy the First Order. And maybe even convince him to train her as a Jedi.

 _You are no mere Jedi. You are so much more._ Rey looked up quickly, trying to find who had uttered those words. Yet no one was there. She shook her head. It had been in her mind. What the Force was going on with her?

First the strange dream and now hearing voices in her head. Something was definitely wrong. She was tempted to ask the doctor to check her over again, just to make sure. She'd gone through a medical exam yesterday, almost as soon as she'd gotten off the Millennium Falcon, but Dr. Kalonia said she was fine, other than a few scrapes and bruises and some malnutrition, there was nothing wrong with her.

She looked back at Finn and softened, placing her hand over his. He was in a medically induced coma. Though the doctor had assured her Finn would be fine, she'd explained the coma was necessary to help his body focus on healing. She only hoped that her definition of fine was the same as the doctor's.

 _You can heal him… help him along,_ that voice said in her mind again. Her first instinct was to ignore it. To pretend it wasn't there. Especially since the voice sounded so much like her own. But the words – how could she ignore the words? Maybe it was the Force telling her what to do. Guiding her to help her friend. Could she really ignore it?

 _How?_ she asked.

 _Use the Force. You know how. You always have,_ the voice said. Rey wanted to scream in frustration. She didn't know how. She had never known how. She hadn't even known she was Force-sensitive.

That same voice snorted in her head. It actually snorted. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. Maybe the voice was right. After all, she had managed to use the Force quite well against Kylo Ren. She placed her hands on Finn's chest and … nothing.

She snarled in frustration. _I have no idea what I'm doing,_ she thought.

 _Yes, you do. Stop trying so hard. Let it come naturally,_ that voice said.

Rey wanted to scream in annoyance. But this was Finn. He'd come back for her. He'd gotten hurt because he'd come back to rescue her. It didn't matter if she was going insane. If she was hearing things. It wasn't important.

So, she put her hands back on Finn's chest, closed her eyes and just let go. She thought of Finn being whole, of him laughing and happy, of him joking around with Poe. A small smile curled her lips. She and Finn were alike in so many ways. They'd both grown up with family and they'd both found friends who could become their family.

A gasp behind her made her eyes fly open. _Focus,_ that voice in her head snapped. So, she didn't look up. She looked at her hands again. They were glowing a strange purple. She closed her eyes again. Whatever she was doing, it was working. This time, she could actually see the Force so she pushed it into Finn's body, willing it to travel through him and heal any injury it discovered. She could feel his heartbeat growing stronger.

She started to sway as her strength ebbed. Hands settled on her shoulders, steadying her. _That's enough. Let his body do the rest,_ the voice said.

 _Will he be whole and healthy again?_ she asked.

 _Yes._

She withdrew her hands and opened her eyes with a deep breath. The hands still rested on her shoulders. She looked back to find Poe Dameron staring at her curiously.

"What were you doing?" he asked softly.

"Healing him. I hope," she replied with a small smile.

He looked down at Finn, concern marring his features. "He certainly looks better than he did an hour ago." The pilot paused for a moment. "Thank you," he said softly.

She cocked her head. "He's my friend, too," she said with a shrug, but she covered the hand that still rested on her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. He squeezed her shoulder and she smiled. It felt good to be around people who cared about more than themselves.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded. Yes, she was. She was very okay. She was more okay than she'd been in a long time. She had more than hope now. She had faith. She had people who cared. She had the Force. Everything would be fine.

"General Organa sent me to find you. It's time," Poe said. She nodded and got to her feet.

She bent over Finn and gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead. "We'll see each other again. I believe that. Thank you, my friend," she whispered. Though she suddenly had a sinking feeling it would be some time before they encountered each other again.

As the Millennium Falcon touched down on one of the larger islands of the planet that was mostly ocean, Rey felt a knot of apprehension tighten in her stomach. Everyone had put their faith in her. She was supposed to bring the legendary Luke Skywalker back. But what if she couldn't? What if she failed? Would she be alone again?

No, she couldn't think like that. She wouldn't. She would succeed. There was no other choice. Too many people's lives depended on her success. She'd bring Luke Skywalker back if she had to tie him up and drag him onto the Millennium Falcon.

She got up from the pilot's seat and slowly made her way down the loading ramp, her feet sinking into the lush grass as she stepped out onto the ground. Chewie and Artoo followed her. They would wait with the ship, while she searched for Luke Skywalker.

She knew he was on this island. She'd felt his presence. Why he'd be at the top of a mountain, she had no idea. At least there were steps that would make the trek easier. Slowly, she made her way to the top, resting every now and then, looking back at the Falcon. Chewie would wave every time and she'd smile, her strength somehow renewed by that small gesture.

Once she reached the top, she found a small clearing. It seemed deserted, yet she still felt him. She turned and that's when she saw him standing on the edge of the clearing. His Jedi robes fluttering in the wind, he had his back to her. She approached him slowly. She had no illusion that he wasn't aware of her presence. But his silence, his stillness kept her quiet. All she could do was wait.

Then, he turned slowly, and pulled back his hood. His hair and beard were peppered with white, yet where she had expected to see sadness, she only saw hope. He didn't say a word, and neither did she.

Instead, she pulled the lightsaber from her pack and walked forward. She stopped only a few feet from him and held out the weapon to him.

He cocked his head and looked at it curiously. He raised his eyes and when their gazes locked, he smiled.

"I've been waiting for you, Rey," he said.


End file.
